~Love~

As promised i'm going to write about Dalton. The day i met him, our first kiss and more. So i met Dalton through my friend (or ex friend?) Ashley. She bugged me forever about meeting her cousin Dalton and i finally agreed. So one day (Friday March 6th) i walked to her house, even though i had no idea where i was going, and he met us there. At first i thought i wasnt gonna be interested but then we picked up ashleys boyfriend at the time , josh, and went to the park. I kinda gave D the cold shoulder for most of the night but toward the end of the night my mom called and really made me mad so i got up and walked toward the shed thing at the park. i looked at D and gave the universal head nod thing for come here and he followed me back behind the shed. He asked me what was up and when i started to reply that i was " really pi**ed off" he kissed me before i could even get all the words out of my mouth. That lip lock didnt last long before our friends came around the side of the shed and announced that they wanted to go to the gas station. It kinda sucked but oh well ya know. The next day i asked him out (cause he made me). Its been over a year since that day and its a day i will never ever forget. Its been a long year and alot of things have happened. We've broken up twice and gotten back together. The first time we broke up was my fault and the second time was completely his. I cant remember a time in my life when ive been in that much pain. But none of that matters now. I have him and we've been together for 4 months now. Losing him is one of my biggest fears. i know i say alot of bad things about him and sometimes i feel like we should break up but i try to imagine the way my life would be without him and i know that i would just be miserable all the time. I know i'm young and i've still got alot of years and experiances ahead of me but i love him with all my heart. People tell me i can do better and every time someone says that i think of this saying..." love isn't about finding the perfect person its about finding an imperfect person, perfect" He isnt the best guy in the world and he has flaws but guess what so do i and i love him more than anything else so all the ppl who wish i'd leave him can shut it. Ive gotta go now. " never give up on someone you cant go a minute without thinking about"

Anniversary

Yesterday was Dalton and my 4 month anniversary. i know your thinking oh 4 months big deal. No it is a big deal. We've dated and broken up a lot. This is our third (and last) try to make it work. The past 2 times we have only made it 2 or three months. This time we made it all the way to 4 months and i think there is a good chance we could make it even further. I know i complain about him a lot but i do love him with all my heart. I've only known him for a year but in that short of a time he has kind of become my everything. I have to go for now but next time i blog its going to be about the day i met Dalton and our first kiss

Lunch!

I had an awesome lunch today. Me Ashley (the bangin one) and Bre went to Bre's house and her mommy (who is awesome) bought us Mcdonalds. Bre's room is like all upstairs and stuff and its awesome and i want to live there. Then today we went to the Chinese resturant and had food there and my fortune cookie said i needed to learn Chinese and then i realized that that was the back and i felt like a giant loserrrrrrr. lol

Really Bad Week

So i know i mentioned in my last post that i was having a really bad week....well now its time to fill you in on it. This time last week i was very PMS filled and crying one minute cussing the next that kinda thing ya know. By Monday i was less pissy and more weepy. I was really depressed about a lot of stuff and was considering reverting to an old habit i used to have. I told my boyfriend this and he told me that he was going to Ashmore so he could drink for St Patrics Day. Ok...at that point i didnt care but the day he was supposed to leave i was feeling extra depressed and told him that i didnt trust myself to be alone because i was afraid i would revert to my nasty little habit of cutting. Insted of staying with me when i needed him he just said if i cut it was over and left anyway. We're gonna pause here and discuss this. okay so first of all why is it ok for him to go get drunk when he says im not allowed to unless he's there (lets just ignore the fact im underage okay that isnt the point here). That is such a double standard theres a whole list of things im not allowed to do but if he wants to do it thats ok. And him leaving when i was feeling borderline suicidal!??!?!? What kind of boyfriend does that! I was so hurt and mad. If he was feeling the way i was i wouldnt leave his side until i was 110% sure he was better. I just dont even know what to say about that. Anyway, for the rest of my week. Dalton left tuesday and Wednesday i really didnt feel like going home right after school so i decided to hang out with his cousin Dustin. I had alot more fun than i have had in a long time. Dustin makes me laugh when i really just wanna cry and thats something Dalton doesnt do. But anyway thats also the day my car broke down in Save Alot parking lot. I took a friend there to get some stuff and my car over heated and started shootin antifreeze. It needs a new water pump and drive belt and is currently sitting in front of my dads garage waiting for us to have the money to get the parts to fix it. So i had to call mom to come get me and a friend towed my car home on a trailer. Just in case you didnt know, watching your car get pulled home on a trailer isnt the easiest thing to see. So the next day i had to take my sisters truck school and that was fine beacuse i love driving her truck. I figured that since she has another car i could just use hers until mine is fixed right? wrong! she let her friend borrow it instead. It really made me mad im getting sick of constantly being shown where i rank in this stupid family. anyways everything pretty much sucked after that and today dalton called and he is finally back from Ashmore. he was only supposed to be gone 2 days. i just dont even want to talk about him right now. I'll probably write more about him later.

Guys!

So i'm havin a really bad week but i dont wanna write about that. i wanna write about guys. what makes a boy a man? Age? Maturity? Or is it more like they're a man when they decide they want to be one? i think the last one is the right answer. Guys decide their men whenever they want. The problem is they still act like immature jealous little boys! Guys anywhere from about 16-19 are declaring themselves as men yet going around acting so immature they practically still need a diaper! Guys are jealous, insecure, immature, backstabbing, hypocritical and annoying. So why do us girls insist that we have one in our lives? My sister says that to find a guy on your maturity level you have to date 5 years up. Thats not an option for me cause a guy that is 5 years older than me is 22 and my parents and sisters would kill me. The real problem with guys is that they think girls like it when they are being total a holes when really we just wish they would shut up already! Im really sick of being expected to worship the ground my boyfriend walks on while he takes me for granted a little more every day. Im gonna shut up before i say something i dont think i really mean. If you agree with my outlook on boys COMMENT ME

So...yeah

So yesterday was my sisters last day at the Village. It was very uneventful and saddening. Also
my boyfriend is out of jail so thats good. His mom bailed him out with left over tax money or something. We got in a huge fight but thats not important it was such a dumb fight it isnt even worth talking about. His mom and dad got his nephews taken out of the house by DCFS. They're claiming that his parents do drugs around the kids based on no solid information. His mom and dad plan to do everything they can to get the kids back i might testify for them in court because i really care about those kids. Probabaly almost as much as Dalton does. Anyway i ran outta stuff to talk bout ttlyz

I just dont even know...

so this week has been kinda hellish. I stayed home from school Tuesday cause i had a bad migrane and Wednesday i job shadowed at Grace Lutheren. It was fun but it was really crazy and exhausting. By the time the day was over a wanted to go home and take a very long nap but i didn't end up going to bed until 11 or after. But here is the worst part...i almost dont want to write it because i know my english teacher will be reading this....but my boyfriend went to jail sometimes yesterday. It made me so so so mad! He's known he had a warrent in Coles County since like September. He should've had it paid off by now and i told him when he mentioned it this week that he would end up in jail and he just blew me off. I'm ALWAYS RIGHT and its about time he accepted that! Anyway I'm very upset and I really just want to put all the stuff i have of his in a box and leave it on his porch. I know i wont actually do that but im SO tempted to. I dont know if we're going to be together once he gets out. I also dont know when he'll get out...his bail is $300 and i dont know who has the money to pay that. All i do know is that this in and out of jail stuff has to stop because its really really ridiculous. I'm gonna go now because im on the verge of tears. Later!

My Birthday

So i turned 17 on Saturday. It was probably the worst birthday i've had so far. I only got 20 bucks from my parents and nothing from my boyfriend. I guess it could've been worse but it could've been a whole lot better. I slept in then went to my boyfriends house and did a whole lot of absolutely nothing then i came home and went to sleep. Lovely. Idk what else to talk about so im gonna go for now. Byez!