Really Bad Week

So i know i mentioned in my last post that i was having a really bad week....well now its time to fill you in on it. This time last week i was very PMS filled and crying one minute cussing the next that kinda thing ya know. By Monday i was less pissy and more weepy. I was really depressed about a lot of stuff and was considering reverting to an old habit i used to have. I told my boyfriend this and he told me that he was going to Ashmore so he could drink for St Patrics Day. Ok...at that point i didnt care but the day he was supposed to leave i was feeling extra depressed and told him that i didnt trust myself to be alone because i was afraid i would revert to my nasty little habit of cutting. Insted of staying with me when i needed him he just said if i cut it was over and left anyway. We're gonna pause here and discuss this. okay so first of all why is it ok for him to go get drunk when he says im not allowed to unless he's there (lets just ignore the fact im underage okay that isnt the point here). That is such a double standard theres a whole list of things im not allowed to do but if he wants to do it thats ok. And him leaving when i was feeling borderline suicidal!??!?!? What kind of boyfriend does that! I was so hurt and mad. If he was feeling the way i was i wouldnt leave his side until i was 110% sure he was better. I just dont even know what to say about that. Anyway, for the rest of my week. Dalton left tuesday and Wednesday i really didnt feel like going home right after school so i decided to hang out with his cousin Dustin. I had alot more fun than i have had in a long time. Dustin makes me laugh when i really just wanna cry and thats something Dalton doesnt do. But anyway thats also the day my car broke down in Save Alot parking lot. I took a friend there to get some stuff and my car over heated and started shootin antifreeze. It needs a new water pump and drive belt and is currently sitting in front of my dads garage waiting for us to have the money to get the parts to fix it. So i had to call mom to come get me and a friend towed my car home on a trailer. Just in case you didnt know, watching your car get pulled home on a trailer isnt the easiest thing to see. So the next day i had to take my sisters truck school and that was fine beacuse i love driving her truck. I figured that since she has another car i could just use hers until mine is fixed right? wrong! she let her friend borrow it instead. It really made me mad im getting sick of constantly being shown where i rank in this stupid family. anyways everything pretty much sucked after that and today dalton called and he is finally back from Ashmore. he was only supposed to be gone 2 days. i just dont even want to talk about him right now. I'll probably write more about him later.